Eligibility

It is sad, but in some age groups there just are not sufficient numbers of single and eligible people for them. Dating is difficult. This is particularly the case for ladies over fifty years old. The single unattached gentlemen are in short supply, and those there are often have left their wives of the same age as themselves for a woman in her thirties. Many even start a second family. It's not fair, is it! I always explain this to ladies before taking any money from them.

"Thanks for your honesty when I first contacted you, and best wishes in your efforts to help those looking to find a friend - Gill"

Occasionally, though, it does work out. This lady is in her mid-fifties:

"I have met someone nice and yes it was on grapevine! Just lets see how it goes."

Friendship Only

Members of dating agencies have different agendas.However, people joining a conventional dating agency are right to assume that other members are looking for a long-term relationship. I know internet dating sites usually ask the question 'friendship only?', but this is yet another difference between internet dating sites and personal dating services.

"You sent my profile to S who wrote to me a few days ago. We briefly emailed each other and spoke tonight for about an hour. I liked her photo and we got on very well via the phone and definitely would have met up for a date. I'm always honest with someone and therefore mentioned that I am not looking for marriage (for the foreseeable future anyway) and do not want any more children as I have my two already. S wants both and no-one should deny her her dream, particularly me. We were both disappointed because I'm sure, from our conversation anyway, that we would have got on.

I'm wondering if there is a section in the profile which tells others whether we are looking for marriage/children as it would make things easier and save disappointment for both parties to know from the onset what our prospective ambitions are?.. (wanting a serious relationship is a prerequisite from someone joining Grapevine)

...She sounded absolutely delightful and I know she liked me too. Ah well."

The next email is interesting in that the 'B' list is a selection of people that doesn't adhere to all the main chosen selection criteria (age, height etc.). It proves that being open-minded can work.

"Thank you for your email. There is no need to extend my membership as I have met someone. We did meet through Grapevine. I contacted him from the 'B' list you sent me and things have gone very well indeed. We have fallen in love and look forward to a long future together. Many thanks."

Baby

Every day there are wonderful stories like this one:

"Not sure if I have mentioned previously but Sonia & I are expecting a Baby ON November 2nd!

Thanks to fantastic Technology we already know the Gender of the Baby and have already done out the babiers room in Yellow - most of the clothes however are Pink ! Yes we're having a girl !

Sonia has had a rough time with this pregnancy but she is now almost there and we both can't wait to see our little bundle of Joy. This means so much to not just Sonia and me but also to both sets of our parents.

Our bundle of joy also unites Hannah & Megan into our fully fledged Family!

All our best, And if I haven't mentioned before,

Many Thanks! Chris & Sonia"

One big problem nowadays is the unreliability of emails. People who don't get a reply often assume it is just bad manners but that's not always the case:

"Could you give me Linda's email again as my hard drive went down last weekend and I have lost all my emails."

And another thing, I have a theory that if people spend too long emailing they 'email' themselves out of a date - or else they can have false expectations when they do eventually meet. The MEETING is the thing! It only costs a couple of hours of your life if you find you're not suited.

"Could you please send me an updated list ofeligible bachelors please? I have met quite a few guys recently but nothing sparking. You were right about cutting down on the email chat - much better to get on and meet them asap".

Dating Matchmaker

The many emails sent to me, a Dating Matchmaker, illustrate better than anything what it's like to be Dating today.

As a Dating Matchmaker I receive Happy emails. I receive Sad emails. I receive Angry emails. I receive Complaining emails. I receive Helpful emails. As a successful Dating Matchmaker I receive many many Grateful emails.

Sadly today many people treat Internet Dating like a Shopping Catalogue and the Dates as 'on approval'. Some eligible people can be too spoilt for choice whilst others struggle to get dates at all. Eligible people can soon find they are in great demand, so as soon as the first rosy glow wears off, they dump the one they are seeing and go back online to look for more.

This is a pessimistic view and certainly not everyone is like this. Many people do really work very hard to find someone special, a partner, and when they have - they work very hard to try to keep them.

The first of today's two emails is from someone who was really prepared to persevere.

"Dear Katherine,

I am writing this to thank you for your help,

Although our life styles are so different, she being a very arty type, and myself being very orthodox, our personalities did clash, and in the beginning it was hard going, but I had decided I wanted this lady, and I just knew she liked me, so I stood my ground, and now 5 months on, things are going very well between us, and it looks as if we might have a future together,

I am keeping my fingers crossed.."

This second email illustrates the disillusionment many people face with modern-day dating. Manners and Etiquette nowadays are quite different from what they were in the pre-internet era.

"I'd like to just drop you a short line to say that out of the contacts that you have been so kindly sending me I'm not really impressed with the number who have replied to my Emails...

I really don't think that I should be the one chasing them when they don't for whatever reason check their mail box regularly. If they have read my email and decided that they don't want to respond, it would be good manners to tell me so. That's not the type of man I would like in my life.

Thanks for all your help Katherine, you do a wonderful job. I think I'm going to give looking for a man a rest for now."

I'll finish with an email that is much more typical of the many emails I receive daily:

"Just to let you know that I’ve met a lovely man so I hopefully I won’t be needing you in the future. I’ve really enjoyed your newsletters and I do keep telling everyone what a good service you offer. I wish you all the best for the future. "